FINDING GOD'S MATE FOR YOUR LIFE,
                       FROM A BIBLICAL PROSPECTIVE!

                         
         
By:
Rex Duff

The Bible states in Isaiah 59:14, “And judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter”.

Outside of salvation, the most important decision you can make in life is whom you will marry. The problem is, most people never consider that God has a plan for you in finding that right person.

Many years ago I wrote this article by repeating good sounding things, without ever considering the culture, and the opinions of men versus God's Word. Outside of the command not to be yoke up with a lost person (2 Cor. 6:14) and the command not to commit fornication (Greek porneia - sex outside of marriage, sexual unfaithfulness, and marital unfaithfulness) See (Acts 15:20 and Matthew 5:32, etc.) there is little written in the Bible about getting the right mate.  Therefore, everything written in this article after that, are suggestions, and are not absolute Bible teaching. To often Preachers preach and teach things they don't like, and tell the congregation to do otherwise is sin. This type of preaching is just as sinful, as disobeying the heavenly Father! Therefore take suggestions from what is written to follow, and use what helps you in your situation.

 

 DATING   -- Definition of Dating – Dating is having a special interest in a person of the opposite gender, and cultivating that interest through thoughts, looks, notes, talks, or events.

Dating is jumping from one person to another, hoping to find the right one after much trial and error.

Dating is practicing Divorce early. When you are tired of the one you are with, just get another!

Dating doesn't have to be this way, but to often it is.

1st Example – In Genesis 6:1-2, we find saved boys who took wives which they choose, who were beautiful (sensual) and lost!  Genesis 6:1-2, “And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them, That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose”.

In Genesis 6:5-7, we find the result of this. ---Total wickedness, which led to destruction!

Genesis 6:5-7, “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart. And the Lord, said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them”.

Here, marriage was to lost beautiful women. Christians should never date lost mates, and should stay away from those who dress senual to get your attention.

2nd Example – In Deuteronomy 24:1, we find a man takes a wife (with no parental involvement or approval stated).

The result was divorce. Sometimes it is wise to ask your parents what they think of your choice for dating and marriage.

3rd Example – In Genesis 34:1-2, we find Dinah, who – went to the wrong places, while looking for a date in the world, with no parental involvement, who wanted to act like the world (to belong) with tragic results.

SHE WAS RAPED!

Genesis 34: 1-2, “And Dinah the daughter of  Leah, which she bare unto Jacob, went out to see the daughters of the land. And when Shechem the son of Hamor the Hivite, prince of the county, saw her, he took her, and lay with her, and defiled her”.

The key I believe here is not being in places you should not be, with people you should not be with.

A.  Dating type relationships in the Word of God

Solomon – Wisest man on earth (I King 11:4), “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father.”

David – The purest man (2 Samuel 11:1 – 12:14), “And it came to pass, after the year was expired, at the time when kings go forth to battle, that David sent Joab, and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the children of Ammon, and besieged Rabbah. But David tarried still at Jerusalem. And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon. And David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?  And David sent messengers, and took her, and she came in unto him, and he lay with her; for she was purified from her uncleanness: and she returned unto her house. And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child. And David sent to Joab, saying, Send me Uriah the Hittite. And Joab sent Uriah to David. And when Uriah was come unto him, David demanded of him how Joab did, and how the people did, and how the war prospered. And David said to Uriah, Go down to thy house, and wash thy feet. And Uriah departed out of the king’s house, and there followed him a mess of meat from the king. But Uriah slept at the door of the king’s house with all the servants of his lord, and went not down to his house. And when they had told David, saying, Uriah went not down unto his house, David said unto Uriah, Camest thou not from thy journey? why then didst thou not go down unto thine house? And Uriah said unto David, The ark, and Israel, and Judah, abide in tents; and my lord Joab, and the servants of my lord, are encamped in the open fields, to eat and to drink, and to lie with my wife? as thou livest, and as thy soul liveth, I will not do this thing. And David said to Uriah, Tarry here to day also, and to morrow I will let thee depart. So Uriah abode in Jerusalem that day, and the morrow. And when David had called him, he did eat and drink before him, he did eat and drink before him; and he made him drunk: and at even he went out to lie on his bed with the servants of his lord, but went not down to his house. And it came to pass in the morning, that David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah. And he wrote in the letter, saying, Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die. And it came to pass, when Joab observed the city, that he assigned Uriah unto a place where he knew that valiant men were. And the men of the city went out, and fought with Joab: and there fell some of the people of the servants of David; and Uriah the Hittite died also. Then Joab sent and told David all the things concerning the war; And charged the messenger, saying, When thou hast made an end of telling the matters of the war unto the king, And if so be that the king’s wrath arise, and he say unto thee, Wherefore approached ye so nigh unto the city when ye did fight? knew ye not that they would shoot from the wall? Who smote Abimelech the son of Jerubbesheth?  did not a woman cast a piece of a millstone upon him from the wall, that he died in Thebez?  why went ye nigh the wall?  then say thou, Thy servant Uriah the Hittite is dead also. So the messenger went, and came and shewed David all that Joab had sent him for. And the messenger said unto David, Surely the men prevailed against us, and came out unto us into the field, and we were upon them even unto the entering of the gate. And the shooters shot from off the wall upon thy servants; and some of the king’s servants be dead, and thy servant Uriah the Hittite is dead also. Then David said unto the messenger, Thus shalt thou say unto Joab, Let not this thing displease thee, for the sword devoureth one as well as another: make thy battle more strong against the city, and overthrow it: and encourage thou him. And when the wife of Uriah heard that Uriah her husband was dead, she mourned for her husband. And when the mourning was past, David sent and fetched her to his house, and she became his wife, and bare him a son. But the thing that David had done displeased the Lord. And the Lord sent Nathan unto David, And he came unto him, and said unto him, There were two men in one city; the one rich, and the other poor. The rich man had exceeding many flocks and herds: But the poor man had nothing, save one little ewe lamb, which he had bought and nourished up: and it grew up together with him, and with his children; it did eat of his own meat, and drank of his own cup, and lay in his bosom, and was unto him as a daughter. And there came a traveller unto the rich man, and he spared to take of his own flock and of his own herd, to dress for the wayfaring man that was come unto him; but took the poor man’s lamb, and dressed it for the man that was come to him. And David’s anger was greatly kindled against the man; and he said to Nathan, As the Lord liveth, the man that hath done this thing shall surely die: And he shall restore the lamb forefold, because he did this thing, and because he had no piety. And Nathan said to David, Thou art the man. Thus saith the Lord God of  Israel, I anointed thee king over Israel, and I delivered thee out of the hand of Saul; And I gave thee thy master’s house, and thy master’s wives into thy bosom, and gave thee the house of Israel and of Judah; and if that had been too little, I would moreover have given unto thee such and such things. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight?  thou hast killed Uriah, the Hittite with the sword, and hath taken his wife to be thy wife, and hath slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun. For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun. And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord. And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die”.

Samson – The strongest man (Judges 16), “Then went Samson to Gaza, and saw there an harlot, and went in unto her. And it was told the Gazites, saying, Samson is come hither. And they compassed him in, and laid wait for him all night in the gate of the city, and were quiet all the night, saying, In the morning, when it is day, we shall kill him. And Samson lay till midnight, and arose at midnight, and took the doors of the gate of the city, and the two posts, and went away with them, bar and all, and put them upon his shoulders, and carried them up to the top of an hill that is before Hebron. And it came to pass afterward, that he loved a woman in the valley of Sorek, whose name was Delilah. And the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and said unto her, Entice him, and see wherein his great strength lieth, and by what means we may prevail against him, that we may bind him to afflict him: and we will give thee every one of us eleven hundred pieces of silver. And Delilah said to Samson, Tell me, I pray thee, wherein thy great strength lieth, and wherewith thou mightest be bound to afflict thee.  And Samson said unto her, If they bind me with seven green withs that were never dried, then shall I be weak, and be as another man. Then the lords of the Philistines brought up to her seven green withs which had not been dried, and she bound him with them. Now there were men lying in wait, abiding with her in the chamber, And she said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he brake the withs, as a thread of tow is broken when it toucheth the fire. So his strength was not known.

And Delilah said unto Samson, Behold, thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: now tell me, I pray thee, wherewith thou mightest be bound. And he said unto her, If they bind me fast with new ropes that never were occupied, then shall I be weak, and be as another man. Delilah therefore took new ropes, and bound him therewith, and said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And there were liers in wait abiding in the chamber. And he brake them from off his arms like a thread. And Delilah said unto Samson, Heitherto thou hast mocked me, and told me lies: tell me wherewith thou mightest be bound. And he said unto her, If thou weavest the seven locks of my head with the web. And she fastened it with the pin, and said unto him, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awaked out of his sleep, and went away with the pin of the beam, and with the web. And she said unto him, How canst thou say, I love thee, when thine heart is not with me? thou hast mocked me these three times, and hast not told me wherein thy great strength lieth. And it came to pass, when she pressed him daily with her words, and urged him, so that his soul was vexed unto death; That he told her all his heart, and said unto her, There hath not come a razor upon mine head; for I have been a Nazarite unto God from my mother’s womb: if I be shaven, then my strength will go from me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man. And when Delilah saw that he had told her all his heart, she sent and called for the lords of the Philistines, saying, Come up this once, for he hath shewed me all his heart. Then the lords of the Philistines came up unto her, and brought money in their hand. And she made him sleep upon her knees; and she called for a man, and she caused him to shave off the seven locks of his head; and she began to afflict him, and his strength went from him. And she said, The Philistines be upon thee, Samson. And he awoke out of his sleep, and said, I will go out as at other times before, and shake myself. And he wist not that the Lord was departed from him. But the Philistines took him, and put out his eyes, and brought him down to Gaza, and bound him with fetters of brass; and he did grind in the prison house. Howbeit the hair of his head began to grow again after he was shaven. Then the lords of the Philistines gathered them together for to offer a great sacrifice unto Dagon their god, and to rejoice: for they said, Our god hath delivered Samson our enemy into our hand. And when the people saw him, they praised their god: for they said, Our god hath delivered into our hands our enemy, and the destroyer of our country, which slew many of us. And it came to pass, when their hearts were merry, that they said, Call for Samson, that he may make us sport. And they called for Samson out of the prison house; and he made them sport: and they set him between the pillars. And Samson said unto the lad that held him by the hand, Suffer me that I may feel the pillars whereupon the house standeth, that I may lean upon them. Now the house was full of men and women; and all the lords of the Philistines were there; and there were upon the roof about three thousand men and women, that beheld while Samson made sport. And Samson called unto the Lord, and said, O Lord God, remember me, I pray thee, and strengthen me, I pray thee, only this once, O God, that I may be at once avenged of the Philistines for my two eyes. And Samson took hold of the two middle pillars upon which the house stood, and on which it was borne up, of the one with his right hand, and of the other with his left. And Samson said, Let me die with the Philistines. And he bowed himself with all his might; and the house fell upon the lords, and upon all the people that were therein. So the dead which he slew at his death were more than they which he slew in his life. Then his brethren and all the house of his father came down, and took him, and brought him up, and buried him between Zorah and Eshtaol in the buryingplace of Manoah his father. And he judged Israel twenty years”.

Note all three of these examples involded lustful relationships.

Let us take a close look at Samson’s dating downfall

1)      According to Judges 14:1, Samson saw a woman of the Philistines. We might call this lusting after a girl. Giving away part of your heart, reserved for your life’s partner. “And Samson went down to Timnath, and saw a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines”.

2)      Samson next told his parents to get her for him Judges 14:2.  This here, gives an appearance of propriety, just like a shot gun wedding, for a pregnant bride. However, who is in charge here, who is making all the decisions. “And he came up , and told his father and his mother, and said, I have seen a woman in Timnath of the daughters of the Philistines: now get her for me to wife”.

3)      Samson’s father obeying his son,  went to make arrangements with the woman, while Samson was having a big wedding feast for seven days. Samson was clearly enjoying self. Judges 14:10,15a – “ So his father went down unto the woman: and Samson made there a feast; for so used the young men to do”. “And it came to pass on the seventh day”.

4)      Samson lost this woman unto another man. Judges 14:19-20. “And the Spirit of the Lord came upon him, and he went down to Ashkelon, and slew thirty men of them, and took their spoil, and gave change of garments unto them which expounded the riddle. And his anger was kindled, and he went up to his father’s house. But Samson’s wife was given to his companion, whom he had used as his friend”.  In dating, how many ones are gone through, before you stop on one,  for a while?

5)      Samson saw a prostitute next, and went in unto her. Judges 16:1. (Printed above)   Here we see Samson on the rebound, to fulfill sexual desires, went and found a wicked woman.

6)      According to Judges 16:4 (Printed above), Samson now loved a woman of the Philistines named Delilah.  Samson who had already experienced lust, immorality, and sinful pleasure, now with this mindset, finds Delilah.

7)      Finally, we see that wicked Delilah, betrays Samson, leading to his death (Judges 16:19-31, printed above).  A good key for us to learn here, is to keep your eyes away from the wrong ones (that is, any one that you are not married too, or would not marry).

The Bible states in Proverbs 23:33, “Thine eyes shall behold strange women, and thine heart shall utter perverse things”.

The Bible also states in Job 31:1, “I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?”

B. 
Goals of Worldly Dating (Pure humanism) – There is really only one goal.

    The goal of dating is truly, self-gratification. It is never the happiness of the other person! (Enjoy the moment, don’t think about the consequences)

The Bible states in  Ecclesiastes 11:9, “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgement”.

The physical result is seen in I Corinthians 7:1-2. “Now  concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch (sexual excite) a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”.

According to I Thessalonians 4:6,  dating might lead to defraudment. That is, a young girl gives at the least, part of her heart to someone who is not her husband. She cannot get back, that which has been given.   A young man, through dating, stores up mental images, which takes away from a pure relationship, with his future wife.  “That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified”.

This might be talking about pre-marital sex here, I would never tell a girl who has kissed a boy that this will ruin her future marriage, how silly.

 

A good key to remember here is that Virginity is the key. The Bible states in Proverbs 6:25, “Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids”.

C.  Traits of  Worldly Dating

1). No chaperon’s! – According to Jim West, in his book, prior to 1920 in the United States, courtship practices included the rigid supervision of the female. What happened in the roaring 20’s? – Women’s liberation!

2).  There is no commitment past the date

According to 2 Samuel 13:2- 14,15, we find the desire for a VIRGIN,  than the hatred of her, once she was defiled.

“And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her”. “Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone”.

3). The date is plan by the adolescences. The young people decide where they will go.

4). Physical intimacies are expected, rather than forbidden. Thus the female is always vulnerable.

Ann Landers stated years ago, “The female who agrees to petting, but does not want to complete the sex act, is asking for trouble, and she probably will get it”.

5). The Father’s role in dating is obliterated. NOTE – The chance of a person finding the right life’s partner, is about 1 in

2 ½  billion (half the population).  This is clearly not good odds, the lottery has better  odds!

However, many of us with God's principals did find the right mate.

What than is wrong with worldly dating?

  1.  Dating deletes parental involvement and authority.
  2. 
Dating is an unbiblical custom that grows out of the boyfriend/girlfriend concept of our day.
  3.  
Dating exposes young people to some terrible dangers.

a)      Dating can be a threat to purity. The Bible states in Romans 13:14, “But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof”. Your flesh is weak. You can never trust your flesh, even if you are saved. One resent statistic stated that date/rape on college campuses was up to about 25%.   It is important to remember what the Bible states in Matthew 26:41, “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak”.

b)      Dating can be a threat to emotional stability

c)      Dating can be a threat to spiritual growth

d)      Dating can be a threat to spiritual fellowship

e)      Dating can be a threat to future happiness

  4.  Dating involves deceitfulness (Everyone is looking for an ideal, but instead they marry a raw deal, now their marriage is an ordeal, so now they are looking for a new deal).
 

Teens and young adults let their emotions wander towards someone, and than someone else, and than someone else, etc.

Creating a shattered heart – crushes, a fantasy land.

These mental images are brought up, over and over again, once they are married, if they go to far.  Literally, a person enters marriage, not giving their whole heart to their mate!

KEY – Parents, need to teach their child to control their emotions. Parents need to get and keep their child’s heart!

The Bible states in Proverbs 23:26, “My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways”.

The Bible also states in 2 Corinthians 11:2, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ”.

It should be very clear, that giving away your heart, one boy to the next boy, to the next boy, or one girl to the next girl, to the next girl, would not leave one a chaste virgin to Christ!   If it involdes pre-marital sex!

  7.  Worldly Dating violates several key Biblical Principles

a.       The motive is wrong (self indulgence vrs. self giving)

b.      The goal is wrong (pleasure and not commitment)

c.       The idea is wrong (let the flesh control)

d.      The results are wrong (no purity, divorce, dirty minds, etc.)

e.       The principal of a one man-woman, or a one woman-man is violated.

The Bible states in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, “For this is the will of God, even your santification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in santification and honour;  Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God: That no man go beyond and defraud his brother in any matter: because that the Lord is the avenger of all such, as we also have forewarned you and testified. For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness. He therefore that despiseth, despiseth not man, but God, who hath given unto us his holy Spirit”.

f.        The principle of security rather than insecurity, of sons and daughters, in relationships, is violated.

g.       Dating violates the command to treat one another like brothers and sisters

The Bible states in 1 Timothy 5:1-2, “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren; The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity”.

h.       Dating violates the command to walk by faith, and not by sight. The Bible states in 2 Corinthians 5:7, “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us”.

i.         Dating might violate the command not to defraud (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8, stated above).

1.      Stolen physical affection

2.      Stolen emotional affection

   A good illustration is sheep in the pasture, with two gates. Outside the gates is the world, with wolves waiting to devoir them. Inside the pasture is protection, with safety provided by the Shepard. Each gate is a boundary line, which the sheep must not cross, unless with the Shepherd.  A boy-girl relationship also has two boundaries, which they must not cross witout the timing of the Shepherd—MARRIAGE. These two boundary lines are your emotions and your physical contact, with one another. This would involve :

1.      Any petting

2.      Any premarital sex

3.      Any improper thoughts

4.   Dirty talk and prono.

          The Bible states in Proverbs 4:23, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life”.

Human emotions are not to be treated like toys. First love needs to be your husband or wife, and them only till death. This is similar to our relationship, with Christ. He is to be our love only, forever. Notice what the Bible states in Revelation 2:4 “Nevertheless I have something against thee, because thou hast left thy first love”.

j.        Dating violates the principal of going to sleep and waiting on God to wake you up at the proper time. The Bible states in Genesis 2:21-22, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man”. It is important to remember that girls should never seek a mate at all, this is the man’s role.

k.        Both Worldly Dating and Courtship (discussed next) violates the principal of being ready to marry, when you begin seeking a bride. Remember, God woke up Adam!

l.         Dating is a strong threat to future happiness in marriage. There can be a loss of purity, both mental and physical.

m.     Dating is a proven failure historically and socially.

n.       Dating is a threat to emotional stability.

o.      Dating is a threat to spiritual growth and Christian fellowship!

II. The average Church’s Plan for dealing with boy-girl relationships

                 (Commonly called Christian Dating)

The Bible states in 1 Samuel 8:19-20, “Nevertheless the people refused to obey the voice of Samuel; and they said, Nay; but we will have a king over us; That we may be like all the nations; and that our kings may judge us, and go out before us, and fight our battles”.

The average fundamental church, has a Christian school and/or a church geared teen department, for pairing up young people.  This can be all right if they are old enough for marriage, and in some cases they marry their best friend who they have known for years.

 

Remember, if you get a Canaanite guy or girl, even saved, and marry them, you not only marry the boy or girl, but you also marry her family. You now have Mr. and Mrs. Lucifer as in-laws!

Problem areas:

1)      Have the children sit together in pairs in church, at school, and in the chapel services.

2)      Have youth hay rides, bus rides, youth parties, with of course, no parental supervision.

3)      Encourage early marriages, and tell the girl not to get into trouble. Warn the young people about aids.

4)      Finally wait for the after marriage singles class to achieve real church growth,  and leadership.

And of course, all God’s people will say Amen, or should it be, Oh! Me.

III  The more conservative Church Plan ---- Courting

Let me say here, 20 years later after first writing this article, it is not the term that is used that matters, but the actions of the couple!

(Taught and practiced by many Christians

Original definition of Courting, “A single man, seeking a married woman!” Taken from, From Her Hand In Marriage, by Douglas Wilson, Cannon Press.

However, we would all agree no one takes this definition today.

As applied today, Courting is two young people, who are interested in each other, spending time together, to find out if they think they should marry, with Adult supervision always, or until engaged. This does involve the girl’s father’s approval often.

Under Courting however, a girl or guy, can still Court several, before deciding on who to settle down with.  I am not always sure this is bad!

One can be courting, without planning on getting married any time soon!

What are the main problems of Courting?

1)      Fifty % of Courting relationships, are still called off (S.M. Davis quote)

      Welcome to life, this will always be Pastor Davis.

2)      The defrauding of the heart, (the emotions), is still very much present. I am afraid that          hurt will always be apart of any dating plan.

IV. Finding God’s Mate for your entire life, from a Biblical prospective.

The Bible states in Isaiah 59:14, “And judgment is turned away backward, and justice standeth afar off: for truth is fallen in the street, and equity cannot enter”.

God’s  Biblical Plan,  begins at birth, and last throughout Marriage until death.

A). A family that prays, worships, and daily studies their Bibles together.

B). A family that believes and lives right! – Teaches a child to stay pure, and only date and marry a saved mate, WHO IS FAITHFUL TO THE LORD!

     According to Deuteronomy 22:21, a fornicating woman is treason against her father!

     “ Then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father’s house, and the men of her city shall stone her with stones that she die: because she has wrought folly in Israel, to play the whore in her father’s house: so shalt thou put evil away from among you”. 

  Why then, is the father’s role so strong!

In Numbers 30:3-8, the Bible states, “If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth; And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand. But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her. And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her.

In this passage of Scripture,  we see that a Father, or husband can veto a daughters or wives decision. According to Genesis 2:24 and 1 Peter 3:7, the woman is the weaker vessel, both physically and emotionally, and under her father until marriage. The woman is to leave her home, and only enter into her husbands home!

Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”.

1 Peter 3:7, “Likewise, ye husbands dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered”. 

In Exodus 22:17, the Father made the choice

Exodus 22:17, “If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins”.

In Genesis 24:1-4, 58 and 67, Isaac’s father determined the wife for his son, which was Rebecca. Rebecca could say no though, for she was consulted

Genesis 24:1-4, 58, and 67, “And Abraham was old, and well stricken in age: and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. And Abraham said unto his eldest servant of his house, that ruled over all that he had, Put, I pray thee, thy hand under my thigh: And I will make thee swear by the Lord, the God of heaven, and the God of the earth, that thou shalt not take a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites among whom I dwell: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac.”   Verses 58 & 67,  “And they called Rebekah and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go…. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her: and he was comforted after his mother’s death”.   

3.God’s Biblical plan of marriage has commitment more important than infatuation.

      4. God’s Biblical plan of marriage has finding God’s mate for your life, God’s Way, which is Betrothing!

Let me say that the word here is not important, but the concepts taught might produce a lasting marriage.

       Betrothal definition ---

Betrothal is a secure interfamily relationship, based on God’s Biblical pattern of getting married, where a qualified single man, with his father’s approval, seeks out a qualified single woman for marriage only, by going through her father first, for his approval, for the qualified man to pursue his daughter, followed by the approval of the qualified woman, and supervised by the woman’s parents, until marriage.

It must be remembered, that a Father of a qualified single woman, should never tell any qualified single man, of the father’s approval, without first talking the qualified man over with his daughter, and wisely her mother! A single lady, should never be the one to tell a qualified man, she does not approve of him. He should never know, she did not approve of him. This is only possible, if the father of  the daughter, checks with her first, before giving the go ahead of the qualified man. All the father of the girl, needs to say to the qualified man, is that he believes it is not God’s will, for the man to pursue his daughter.  By being a father, this should leave no hard feelings!

This does not mean, a qualified lady has to give an immediate answer concerning the qualified man. She might write out a questionnaire for her father to give to the qualified man to fill out.

There might also be some areas of study, between the qualified man and the girl’s father, before approval is granted or denied. There might also be other factors that need to be found out and addressed, before approval is granted or denied.The families might also get together at a family outing with several families, to see how well the qualified man and qualified lady relate to one another, and with others.

What is God’s Plan for his own Son in finding a bride?

1)      The Father and the Son together choose the bride. Ephesians 1:4

Ephesians 1:4, “According as he hath chosen us in him before the foundation of theworld, that we should be holy and without blame before him in love:”

2)      The Son was sent by the Father to win His bride.  Luke 19:10

Luke 19:10, “For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost”.

3)      The Son was in continual communication with the Father as He sought His bride. John 5:30; Mark 1:35. 

John 5:30,“I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me”.

 Mark 1:35, “And in the morning, rising up a great while before day, he went out, and departed into a solitary place, and there prayed.”

4)      Jesus paid the greatest bride price.  1 Peter 1:18-19, “Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; But with the precious blood of Christ, as a lamb without blemish and without spot:”

5)      The bride has the opportunity to accept or reject the Groom. Joshua 24:14-15; John 6:66; John 5:40; Acts 7:51-52; Proverbs 1:24.

Joshua 24:14-15, “Now therefore fear the Lord, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the Lord. And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for meand my house, we will serve the Lord”. John 6:66, “From that time many of hisdisciples went back, and walked no more with him”.

John 5:40, “And ye will not come to me, that ye might have life”.

Acts 7:51-52, “Ye stiffnecked and uncircumcised in heart and ears, ye do always resist the Holy Ghost: as your fathers did, so do ye. Which of the prophets have not your fathers persecuted? and they have slain them which shewed before of the coming of the Just One; of whom ye have been now the betrayers and murderers:”

Proverbs 1:24, “Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;”

6)      The groom gives gifts  (spiritual and physical) to the bride. He has given His love to the bride and we are growing to love Him more with each passing day. John 14:1-3;Philippians 1:6, & 21; Romans 8:38-39.

John 14:1-3, “Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive youunto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also”. 

Philippians 1:6, 21, “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:”  Verse 21, “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain”.

Romans 8:38-39, “For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor death, nor any other creature, shall be able, to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord”.

John 14:18-20, “I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you”.

8)      Our marriage to Him will take place in the future, after the Rapture. Revelation 19:7-9; and 2 Corinthians 11:2.   Revelation 19:7-9, “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honour to him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and his wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. And he saith unto me, Write, Blessed are they which are called unto the marriage supper of the Lamb. And he saith unto me, These are the true sayings of God”.

2 Corinthians 11:2, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealously: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ”.

KEY – No arranged marriages, but agreed marriages!

The world says – The key to marriage is love and Romance!

The Bible teaches – The key to marriage is, Love Duty, Responsibility, trust, and Commitment!

Love can only grow in a Christian Marriage!

Betrothal is God’s Method of getting you to that Christian Marriage.

Betrothal – Deuteronomy 20:7, “And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her”.

Betrothal Meetings or Betrothal Appointments are terms used by some today, to get to the marriage alter in manner honoring God, after a betrothing relationship has begun!

You might ask, why is Betrothing a better way to finding a mate?

1)       Betrothing is better because it bypasses the dangers of worldly dating and courting. Two of the greatest dangers that all fathers should teach their sons to flee, are, “LUST and  ANGER”.

2)       Betrothing is better, because it keeps the priority on the right relationship.

3)       Betrothing puts someone in charge who can think more clearly.  The Bible states in Luke 1:17, “And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord”.

4)       Betrothing establishes and enhances communication between parents and children (both sides).

5)       Betrothing solves the problem of getting “cold feet,” and calling off a marriage. Presently, 40% of all engagements are called off.

6)       Betrothing gives the parents the opportunity to see the virtues and the faults in a future mate, for their child. They can either encourage virtues, or work on correcting faults.

7)       Betrothing helps establish a chain of counsel for couples, for future problems.

8)       Betrothing keeps the emphasis on the will of God, instead of on only human emotions.

9)       Any Betrothal relationship can be called off, when necessary. This is not divorce today, as is falsely taught by Rick Leibee, of the Charity Fellowship. There is never a marriage today, in modern Betrothal, until the end of the Betrothal period, at a wedding service, and even today it is not a marriage until consummated.  Just because someone has always taught Courting, and won’t admit there is a better way, is no reason to fall into their trap!

Things a family can do towards preparing for Betrothal

1)       A family can pray regularly and earnestly for God to direct them, for God’s choice for their child.

2)       The lady especially, must wait on God. A person not ready for marriage, must stay asleep, or go to sleep.

The Bible states in Genesis 2:21-22, “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man”.

3)       Single people should meditate regularly on the potential for joy and peace, and rewards that may come, from following only God’s ways.

4)       The couple should plan on rejoicing in their old age, for a meaningful life together.

5)       A single person should wake up every day, with the Leadership of God given authority figures.

6)       A  family should work on making all decisions not on emotions, as much as possible. The order should be, mind, than will, and lastly emotions.

7)       A qualified man should establish a secure relationship, with all purity, winning a Ladies heart God’s way only.  Both single people, should keep their hearts for only one person.  At marriage, both parties should have a pure heart and body. Remember, there is mental Adultery (Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart”).

8)       Both parties must learn patience. They must be content with singleness until God’s timing.

9)       Both the boy and the girl must be prepared (ready) for the responsibilities of marriage.

10)    In order for there to be a good marriage, there must be compatibility. Both must be saved, committed to Christ, have godly character, have the same convictions, and the same goals. Things that are over looked before marriage, will come out as problems, after marriage. The Bible states in Genesis 24:4, “But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Issac”.

11)    Both the man and the lady need to learn to be under Authority. Neither party should do anything, without the guidance of Authorities, God has placed over them. The Betrothal relationship should never proceed against Biblical Authority.

12)    It must be remembered, that leaving means staying under parents until married. The Bible states in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”.

       The Bible also states in Galatians 4:2, “But is under tutors and governors until the time appointed of the father”.

What things need to be considered, before Betrothal, during Betrothal, and before Marriage?

1)  Saved  (2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?   Also, 1 Corinthians 7: 39, states, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband is dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord” ). A lost relationship opens the door to temptation and always disobedience. In a Christian marriage, God is the Center, and God’s view is the key!

2) Doctrinally the same, in just about everything. Any differences, ever so slight, will be the problem areas when raising the children.

3)       Do each of the parties have a Godly pursuit for life?

4)        What is the character of each one?  Character, is the choices I make in difficult times, when only God would know.  One might ask, “Would Jesus make this choice?”

5)       What is the calling of God for the qualified man, for his life. Will his bride submit willingly to do it?

6)       Is the girl desiring to raise the children, responsible for the home, Never having her children in public school? This does not mean a woman cannot work as the Proberbs 31 woman.

7)       Is the qualified man desiring to provide for his home, lead the family in home worship, pray together as a family?

8)       Is there compatibility between the couple, relatives, and siblings.  Has the couple become best friends?

What then, is God’s Order in His Plan of Marriage?

1)   There must first be Spiritual Agreement.

2)       There must secondly be mental compatibility

3)       There must be the emotion of love 

4)   Finally, there must be physical attraction. Notice, this is not first, but is last!

Three phases of life Biblically

1)       Not Betrothed (single), or widowed

2)       Betrothed

3)       Married

           Let us now look at a cross section of the globe, in getting to the marriage Alter

           MUCH DIVORCE--------------------------------------- LITTLE DIVORCE

Worldly Dating
Fleshly appetites 

                       Worldly Christian Dating
                        Plays with Emotions
                         Flesh?

                                  Worldly Courting
                                      50% of  all
                                        Courtships are
                                           called off

                                                 Betrothing
                                                    (God’s Plan)

                                                           Totally arranged Marriages
                                                             Practiced in India –
                                                                Not of God

                                                                Bride is sold by her Father
                                                      To her husband -Perverted Bride Price
                                                                      Practiced in Uganda, Africa

                                                               Bride is auctioned to the highest                                                                  bidder!   Makes the girl nothing                                                                                more than property
                                                                         Practiced in parts of Africa

The Bible states in 2 Corinthians 11:2, “For I am jealous over you with godly jealously: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I might present you as a chaste virgin to Christ”.

A good paraphrase of this verse might be – I am anxious that your love should be for Christ alone, just as a pure maiden , saves her love for one man!

What factors are critical and non-negotiable in a Betrothing Relationship?

1)       Heavy Parental involvement from start to finish.

2)       The couple is never alone until marriage.

3)       No parental approval, no Betrothal relationship.

Remember, even in Courting, what about the approval and direction of the man’s father?

     An example of a  Pre- Betrothing Coverture  (used possibly about 12 to 13 years old, between Fathers & Daughters)

This Coverture is between _____________, as Father and _______________, as my daughter, as witnessed by the Lord Jesus Christ.  We agree together, to seek God’s choice for my marriage, concerning a future life partner, when I am awakened, by a possible qualified man.

     FATHER                                                            DAUGHTER

I will protect you from all                         I will accept your protection and
Unqualified men.                                 keep myself pure for my husband,  
                                                               both  mentally and physically.     
                                                                Giving my whole heart, mind, and
                                                             a pure body, for God’s one, that
                                                                        was prepared, just for me!

I will be diligent to lovingly                   I acknowledge that I am capable of
guard you from even the                   being deceived, and will immediately
presence of  Temptation.                  come to you, my Father, should any                                                                  temptation present itself to me!

I will teach you God’s Principals             I will listen and learn and wait for
Concerning Life and Marriage                            God’s best for my life.
I will pray for you, wait with you,         I will seek first the Kingdom of God,
and communicate with you,                  and His righteousness, and look concerning  for your life’s partner.        God’s choice foreward to  

                                                                        entering a Betrothal    
                                                                        Relationship, and will wait for
                                                                     your blessing and approval,                                                                       before entering Betrothal, or into                                                                                  Marriage!

________________________                           ____________________________
      Father’s signature                                               Daughter’s signature

 

________________________  __________________________  _________________________
           Witness                                      Witness                          Witness

 

      Pre- Betrothal Decision Time – A time when a mature man and woman seek to determine, with their parents guidance  and approval, God’s will for their lives, in relation to each other. A qualified man needs both his father’s permission and direction.

            BE – to cause to come to pass     troth – the trust of  marriage

Good keys to a happy marriage

1)       Parents and young people should make sure that they have each others complete heart.

2)       Children should be taught from the time they are very young that there is only one other person in life for them. This one other person is the only one for them, unless unfaithfulness or death.

3)       Those not old enough to be married should concentrate on seeking God, instead of seeking a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

4)       Children must be warned about breaking the 10 th Commandment (thou shall not Covet) According to 1 Timothy 5:2, we are to intreat sisters with all purity. “The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity”.

5)       Young people should be friendly towards everyone, unless their parents say not too.

6)       Parents and children should discuss together the character, personality, and commitment, of other young people.

7)       Girls should never seek a mate.  This stops active and passive flirting.

8) Boys should not seek a mate until they are old enough and mature enough for marriage.

9)       A young man should be willing to pay the price (get father’s approval) to get his bride.

10)    Couples with their parents, should plan a wedding, that will glorify God in everything.

Principles of Biblical Purity

1)       Keep your eyes away from the opposite sex. The Bible states in Job 31:1, “I Made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?”

2)       Don’t develop friendships with others, who your parents would not approve of. If you have any questions, ask your parents.

          4 Levels of Friendships

      a)  Hello friends (be ye friendly)

      b)  Casual friends (examples – friends at work, maybe at Church)These are friends you come across often.

      c)  Close friends (Fellowship level) – Mutual beneficial friends, never any friends of the opposite sex here, unless approved by parents, unless in a Betrothing relationship, .

      d)  Intimate Friends (Marriage)  NOTE – Parents are to prepare their children for marriage. WHY?  Jeremiah 17:9,  states “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?

3)       Every person  in a Betrothing relationship should be saved and committed (this includes both sets of parents). This is not always possible, so don’t punish the girl for her family, or the boy.

4)       A qualified man (after consulting with his father) must always ask the girl’s father first, if they can enter a Betrothing relationship.  A  qualified potential man can be a dinner guest, join in family devotion time, go on a family outing, and even attend Church together with the family. However, the potential couple, should never be paired off, seat together, or be alone together, until and if a Betrothing relationship has started. The wise thing here, would be to have the potential man and his whole family over together!

This should be the thinking – Mary is godly, I will talk to her father, since my father already approves, about me pursuing  a Betrothing relationship, that will end in Marriage with Mary!

This would be the wrong thinking – Mary is beautiful, I want to take her out, so I will talk to her, and maybe fulfill my worldly desires.

5)       Parents or someone, should always be with the couple at all times until married. If there is not a father, than maybe the Pastor and his wife, with the mother, could make it work out. There must be authority and accountability.

6)       There should never be any petting, until I do, after the marriage alter. Romantic Love (Intimacy) is only for marriage.

7)       Families should always sit together when in mixed groups.

       Let us now review briefly, Worldly Dating/Worldly Courting  contrasted with Betrothing, from two different  Biblical Examples.

Worldly Dating/Courting (2 Samuel 11:1-12:14)

Where did the idea originate?  - Human Nature (2 Samuel 11:2, “And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon”). 

What was the motive? – Getting (2 Samuel 11:4a, “And David sent messengers, and took her; )

What was the goal? – Pleasure (2 Samuel 11:5,  “And the woman conceived, and sent and told David, and said, I am with child”).

What was the result? – Hurts (2 Samuel 12:9-14, “Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the Lord, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Thus saith the Lord, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbor, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun. For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun. And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the Lord, And Nathan said unto David, The Lord also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die. Howbeit, because by this deed thou hast given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme, the child also that is born unto thee shall surely die”).    

                                             Betrothing (Ruth chapter 2 through chapter 4)

Where did the idea originate? – God’s Standards (Ruth 2:11-12, “And Boaz answered and said unto her, It hath fully been shewed me, all that thou hast done unto thy mother in law since the death of thine husband: and how thou hast left thy father and thy mother, and the land of thy nativity, and art come unto a people which thou knewest not heretofore. The Lord recompence thy work, and a full reward to be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust”).

What was the motive? – Giving (Ruth 2:15-16, “And when she was risen up to glean, Boaz commanded his young men, saying, Let her glean even among the sheaves, and reproach her not: And let fall also some of the handfuls of purpose for her, and leave them, that she may gleam them, and rebuke her not”).

What was the goal? – Commitment (Ruth 3:10-12, “And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. And now it is true that I am thy near kinsman: howbeit there is a kinsman nearer than I”).

What was the result? – Edification (Ruth 4:11-15, “And all the people that were in the gate, and the elders, said, We are witnesses. The Lord make the woman that is come into thine house like Rachel and like Leah, which two did build the house of Israel: and do thou worthily in Ephratah, and be famous in Bethlehem: And let thy house be like the house of Pharez, whom Tamar bare unto Judah, of the seed which the Lord shall give thee of this young woman. So Boaz took Ruth, and she was his wife: and when he went in unto her, the Lord gave her conception, and she bare a son. And the women said unto Naomi, Blessed be the Lord, which hath not left thee this day without a kinsman, that his name may be famous in Israel. And he shall be unto thee a restorer of thy life, and a nourisher of thine old age: for thy daughter in law, which loveth thee, which is better to thee than seven sons, hath born him”).

                                                Common objections to Betrothal

1)       What if my parents object to the one I choose?

The Bible states in Ephesians 6:1, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right”.  Children should accept the fact that parents can be objective, that they offer wise counsel, and a son or daughter can trust God to work all things out!

2)       What can a person do about feelings they have before Betrothal?  Don’t they need to release these feelings?

The feelings that a person has before Betrothal, need to be controlled. If a person doesn’t learn to control feelings before Betrothal, how will they learn to control improper feelings, after marriage?   There must never be defrauding of the heart.

3)       What if my father is not close to me? A child and father, should work on the relationship. A child should trust God, and give their heart to their father.

4)       What if my parents refuse to participate in Betrothal?  The Bible states in Hebrews 13:7, “Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation”. A person can always go to their Pastor for help!

5)       If I don’t flirt, date around, hang out, or cruse the strip, I will never find someone to marry?  To begin with, this objection denies all faith in God! However, there are things a family can do, so that their child can meet people in a Godly manner.  A family can have family fellowships, and invite families to come over for a visit. Group settings at Church, can also be good times to meet people. NEVER have a Youth activity without Parents. An older Adult couple might not be good enough. Godly camp meetings are good places to take your children. Camp meetings need to have a time of fellowship, for the sake of future families. Finally, Christian school fellowships, for families only within the Church, are great activities for getting to know others.

6)        I want to go off to College and get a Career, before I settled down and marry a man. The Bible principal is that girls stay home, under their fathers authority, until Marriage. They need to be helping in the home, learning to be good mothers. They are not to go off to college, or seek a career, unless close to home.  Their Biblical role in life, is that of Wife and Mother primarily, however there is nothing wrong with a career for a woman, as long as she remembers her first duty is one of mother and the home.

7)       I have often heard it said, but if  my husband die, and I become a widow, I must have a career to fall back on? There is nothing wrong with a smart wife and mother.

If we were to rewrite Genesis Chapter 24 for today, we might entitle it, “Isaac getting a babe”.

Would we say – And Isaac looked for an intimate good time – when he turned 16 years old, and could drive his own sports car, after he had been making out already for 4 years. He was looking for the most beautiful, and hottest girl, for now, until a better one comes along.

A main question to ask is, “Am I the right person to get married?”

Today – ½ of all marriages end up in divorce, and most of the other half are unhappily married. The father in Genesis chapter 24, was the one looking for a mate for his son. Can you trust God to guide your father, in helping you find a bride?

                

                                                        

 

   
    | General Editor: Rex Duff | Webmaster: Charles Felts | Updated: 03/01/2008 |
 
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